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There is an obvious communication problem, because no one fights about the minute things, unless they are avoiding the big issue. It's common. I did it. Your first, and probably best, approach is to establish communication with each other. If we take a wrong turn when we are on a trip, we go back to where things were right, and try again. That can work well in relationships too. Communication takes both people, but you are the only one you can control, so that's a good starting point. Get away from placing blame. It is the world's most useless activity and accomplishes nothing but bad feelings. Two-way respect needs to be reestablished. The approach uses the same concept as the trip example above. Why separate if you do not intend to divorce? The phrase "Fish or cut bait" comes to mind. Control and selfishness are very bad. I can't even begin to suggest how to get around control, other than to cope or get out. That's not a very helpful suggestion though. As far as the selfishness, that get better as communication is established. The above comes from years of hard knocks that it took in order to figure it out. I was especially bad at the communication part. I the above save you the heartache it caused, and the years of life that it wasted. Best of luck to you and if things don't work out, be sure to consult an attorney about the details of divorce. At least those are my thoughts on the matter. Eusebio